In Need of a Clean Heart: Sex, Societal Lies, and Bipolar Disorder

Men as Medication

Modern society’s lies about sex, undiagnosed bipolar disorder, and lack of self-worth created a mess that almost destroyed my family. Self-medicating with men is not a healthy way to cope with the symptoms of mental illness. What would it take for me to recognize the destructiveness of my choices?

I’m over at Defying Shadows talking about Men as Medication: Unhealthy Coping.

I sat in my uncomfortable metal folding chair as the giant tent cleared. A few hundred women gathered on a campground to step back from the day-to-day, enjoy fellowship, and praise God. I felt alone. No one could possibly understand how I felt. None of the women I came with would even think about doing what I did.

The speaker had asked us to picture our heart like a house. With others, I had silently asked God to open the closed doors, light up the dark corners I would rather keep hidden, and blow through with a cleansing wind. I did not expect much. But something had to give.

Sometimes God grants me an image, like a mini-movie, that illustrates the invisible spiritual side of a situation. For a moment, I stood in an open space, the only walls diaphanous curtains, billowing and floating in a strong breeze. Everything was white, and bathed in light. Uncluttered. Peaceful. Clean…

Join me over at Defying Shadows to read more.

Create in me a clean heart, O God... A glimpse at bipolar disorder and sex. Click To Tweet

For more about unhealthy approaches to sex and sexual identity, check out the following:

Hypomanic Redemption: Grace is Bigger

My brain is noisy today. Reminding me of all that’s wrong. All that I can’t fix. All that I can’t control.
I don’t know what to do with my arms. My legs. My self.

Fifty Shades: Why Women Want Christian Grey

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An Olympic Effort: Run Your Race
Do you know what happens when you do things that go against what you believe is true? Cognitive dissonance. Our brains are off-kilter when we claim to believe Biblical truths, but don’t give them priority and thereby live otherwise. It’s one basic way our spiritual health influences mental health.